A Different sort of Goodbye

I went to say possibly my final good-bye to my great grandma after work today. She has really gone down-hill and may not be around when I come home at the end of June. I haven't been to see her in close to a year unfortunately. I haven't been able to bring myself to the continuing care unit of the hospital, wishing that I could have the great-grandma back that was in good health. That is not possible though and when my grandma Shirley said that great grandma was doing even worse then when I had seen her last, I knew that I was due in for a visit. After work I went down to the hospital, walked through the sliding doors, down the hall to my grandmas room. I didn't know what to expect since the last time I had seen her and walked through her door. She looked the same as when I had seen her last except this time she couldn't even be moved from her bed to a wheelchair. She just lay there, staring into space, even though the TV was on. I greeted her with a hello but she didn't turn to look at me. As I started to talk to her and explain who I was, her eyes got teary and she brought her bed sheet to her eye to wipe a tear. I don't know how much she understands anymore but I just talked to her like she grasped every word I said. I told her that I was going away and about the things I remember about her when she was well. Besides looking at me a couple times and saying "yes", she continued to stare off into space. She has in her life, taken care of many people. Her own children, her step-children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, as well as those people she adopted in her heart. I admire her so much and wish that she was here in mind and body, rather then in the state she is in . As I was talking to her though, she appeared agitated as though she wanted to tell me something but just couldn't form words that she hadn't used in far too long. Watching her face as I spoke let me know that she was listening and although she couldn't form anything beyond "yes", she understood.  My last sentence to her was this, "Good-bye Grandma, if you're here when I come home, I'll come and see you. If not, say hi to Jesus for me" and with that I kissed her weathered cheek and walked out the door. Good-bye Great-Grandma, until we meet again." Whether it be on this side of heaven..... I don't know.